To Build A Home
by fookinwanka
Summary: "We lost our chance to run. Now the door's too hot to touch. We should hold our breath with mouths together now."
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my first fanfic, be gentle. It might be a little shit, but give me a gander. Feel free to criticize or add your two cents.**

**Summary: Emily is lost and her situation is a constant reminder that life isn't fair. Naomi is self-loathing, troubled by the tragedy life threw at her. What happens when they meet? A fucking beautiful catastrophe, that's what happens! **

**The song is Breathe Me by Sia.**

**First chapter is for R.P. Ily-Ika.**

**Enjoy x**

Emily's POV.

_With insomnia, you're never really asleep; you're never really awake._

Waking up in the morning gets harder and harder as the day progresses. It's even worse than trying to succumb to sleep: lying on her bed, motionless, albeit her head. She lies awake whilst her mind is victimized by analysis paralysis. The constant thought of what could have happened – the thought wasn't foreign to Emily Williams.

_What would've happened if it'd all been different? _Emily thinks to herself. She sighs as she pulls her comforter off her, the heat invading her room. _Was it my fault?_ Emily asks herself.

Emily breaks her stare at the ceiling and focuses her attention on her alarm clock. It reads 4:56am. Emily's room is eerily quiet despite her raging mind. The sound of vehicles passing by and police sirens are present outside of her window. The floorboards creak as she takes a step, careful not to wake her foster mum. _My bitch of a foster mum_, she thinks, but quickly dismisses her rudeness as she feels guilty.

She discreetly walks to her dresser and pulls out her running costume. She undresses her long t-shirt, puts on her clothes, carefully walks down the steps, and out the door. It's still dark and chilly out, since its fall, but it doesn't stop Emily from not going out. Knowing Bristol, the weather was murky and rather shit. She plugs in her headphones and starts her iPod.

_Help. I have done it, again._

Emily starts off at a light jog out of her street and rounds the corner towards the park. Running is one of the only things that help the voices inside her head subside.

_I have been here many times before-ore-ore._

She knows the course to the park like the bottom of her one-heart-freckled bum. She's practically ran it every morning when she couldn't find sleep.

_Hurt myself again today._

Emily concentrates on her strides and breathing. Her throat felt as if she swallowed knives as the cold, breezy air attacked her air passage.

_And the worst part is there's no one else to bl-am-ame._

_Be my friend._

_Hold me, wrap me up._

_Unfold me._

Emily dashes around the lake surrounding the park, pushing herself harder and harder. Her breathing is erratic and she has no longer control over her legs as she lengthens her duration. Soon enough, she starts feeling numb, by the cold or sadness, she isn't sure.

_I am small._

_I am needy._

_Warm up me._

_And breathe me._

She keeps the song playing on repeat as she finally reaches the doorstep of the house she resides in. _Not much of a home_, Emily thinks to herself as she opens the door. The smell of alcohol and tobacco immediately rushes through her nose as she walks through the threshold.

"Where the hell have you been, you ungrateful little shit?" Angela, her foster mum, shouts.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**A/N: Okay, this is even shittier. I think I'm gonna give this one up & start something else.**

**Anyway, yeah. I wouldn't bother, haha. But we have a Naomi POV :)**

**Reviews, anybody? No? Okay...**

**Enjoy x**

"Where the hell have you been, you ungrateful little shit?"

"Noticed I've been gone, have you? Careful, Ange, it actually almost sounds like you care," Emily replies sardonically as she walks nonchalantly towards the stairs. The adrenaline from her four mile run must have given her the confidence in speaking to her foster mum like that.

"Don't give me cheek, you slag! Shit – I didn't mean that," Angela stumbles as she takes a step towards Emily. The fake concern doesn't affect her, but rather escalates her anger. The tall, green eyed brunette easily towers over the redhead. "You know it's your bloody fault I'm moody in the mornings, and your disruptions in the middle of the night doesn't help!"

"Get off it, we all know you're always a bi-polar cow," she spits to her foster mum. Right before she heads towards the steps, she faintly catches Angela wind her right hand back. Without time to react, she is disoriented by a forceful slap at the right side of the head. Emily quickly grasps for anything around her to keep her stance, but fails to have a hold on anything so she collapses on her knees. The only surrounding sound her mind registers is the constant ringing in her right ear.

"You could have avoided that blow to the head if you hadn't been a right bitch!" Angela voices as Emily hurriedly strides up the stairs, holding the left side of the head as she takes two steps at a time to get ready for college.

x

Emily reluctantly walks up the stairs to college to meet her best friend JJ - her only friend. As she dodges through the crowd, she spots the familiar bushy, curly hair of her best mate standing near the entrance of the building.

"Are you alright, Emily?" JJ hesitates as they walk together to politics.

"'Course, why?" Emily answers quickly as she lowers her head away from the extensive stare from the boy. They take their seats next to each other right before Kieran, the politics teacher, begins speaking.

"You've got a red mark on your cheek, Emily." Before she could make up an excuse, Kieran interrupts.

"Alright, you fucking parasites, can any of you tell me who is running our fucking country?" Kieran looks around the room and spots a boy dozing off. "_You_, the one with the drool."

"Um, King... James?" The boy guesses.

"No, you shitface. Go back to bed."

During Kieran's lecture, Emily finds herself slowly drifting off as she stares out of the window. The sound of Kieran's voice becoming very faint and full of mumbles, soothes her to lose sense of reality.

x

_If you don't know what you want, you end up with a lot you don't._

Naomi is awaken by a sting of pain to her head. She squints her eyes open and quickly shuts them as it makes her head hurt even worse. She cradles her head as she sits up. _Bad idea,_ she thinks when she feels the pressure in her head increase. She looks around and is hit with the unfamiliarity in her chest as she takes a closer look.

_This isn't my room,_ Naomi thinks. _This isn't my bed. This isn't my boyfriend._ She observes a half-naked man asleep next to her and looks below her and notices her lack of clothes, as well. She silently scowls at herself for letting it happen again and carefully pries her body from the stranger's limbs and picks up her clothes.

She walks out the man's door and starts walking to only God knows where; anywhere but there. She's sure her face is smeared with eye make-up everywhere around her face. Her hair is as misplaced as her clothes from last night. Naomi concentrates on the sound of her bare feet hitting the wet, cold pavement with every step she takes. Maybe if she focuses long enough, her tears won't break through.

England weather is freezing, but she rarely feels the prickling along her skin as she walks further and further away. She's used to it. Every night is a routine for her. She can't shake it off. She can't _stop_. Drowning herself in alcohol, getting pissed in a different club every night, taking pills from random strangers, and waking up next to a different person every morning.

Long enough, Naomi doesn't feel her shivers or the clatters of her teeth as she walks towards a park in Bristol. She slows down her pace when she feels the familiarity sets in. The air of grass, precipitation and trees explores her senses as she walks deeper towards the lake. The tranquility of her surroundings easily changes her demeanor, so she takes it in for as long as she can, because it won't last long.

x

Emily arrives to the house and quickly walks up the stairs towards her room before Angela could notice her. She changes into her running clothes and grabs her iPod. Before she reaches the bottom of the step, she sees Angela standing there looking at her expectantly.

"Where do the fuck do you think you're going? You're meant to cook me dinner! How do you expect to live here, _rent free_, and not do anything useful, you demented bint?" She shouts as she loses her balance trying to stay stood up.

"I don't know, Ange, looks to me like you should skip a couple of meals. You're getting rather plump, methinks." Emily fires back as she walks out of the front door. Her brave facade breaks as soon as she walks out of the threshold. Her hands shake as they become sweaty. Her head feels full of lead, just as her knees. Her chest feels caved in with every breath she takes in.

Emily starts off with a jog to her oasis. She focuses on her breathing as she pushes herself harder, whatever it takes to stop her from collapsing to the ground, crying her eyes out. She knows she shouldn't be a complete bitch to Angela, but she started it first. It was always her that instigated everything. She caused her pain first. She's just getting even.

_Ouch, I have lost myself again, today._ The iPod sings as her headphones tremble from the volume.

_Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found._

Emily runs faster and harder without looking back or stopping to catch air into her lungs.

_Yeah I think that I might break._

She finally slows her speed into a light run as she reaches the park.

_I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe._

She sees the lake glistening and could almost smell the atmosphere as she reaches closer.

_I'm needy..._

Before taking her eyes off her haven, she feels her body stop abruptly from a force that sends her tumbling forward. She lands on top of a body, animal or human, she doesn't know until she's pushed off. Her body aches.

"What the fuck! Watch where the fuck you're going, tosser!" She hears an angelic voice behind her and quickly turns around. The girl is brushing off the dirt from her clothes - or lack there of - and fixes her dress. Emily barely catches a look at her make-up smeared face and bedridden hair. The beautiful girl in front of her meets her gaze. Before she could develop coherent sentences to apologize, her chocolate brown eyes were transfixed on the icy, blue eyes and instantly becomes mesmerized.

_Oh,_ she thinks.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Right, so sorry for the delay, I've had writers block for a bit. I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this, but I've had a lot of help from R.P. Ily-Ika. Check her stories out, she's my inspiration :)**

**Also thanks to Emily Shitification Fitch, MariaAleja, M, DontBeIgnorant23, & illudetiamtranset. Check them out as well!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but a ukulele and some swag.**

**Enjoy x**

Chapter Three

_You shimmy shook my bones, leaving me stranded all in love on my own. Do you think of me? Where am I now? Baby, where do I sleep?_

Emily feels light-headed. Her breath catches in her throat as her eyes stays glued to the figure a metre from her. She almost wants to grab onto her as if she'll disappear into thin air, like the person in front of her isn't really there; that her mind is playing cruel jokes on her. Cause it wouldn't be the first time she imagined her next encounter with the the blonde-headed girl.

_It's really her_, Emily thinks, besottedly.

"I-I," the words are stuck in her throat before she can get out the next word. Emily looks at the girl dumbfoundedly. She begins to feel heat swarming through her body as her eyes sting from the lack of blinking, like she doesn't want to miss anything. She loses the ability to speak and move under the crystal, blue gaze.

"Are you going to fucking apologize or just stand there?" The voice interrupts Emily's thoughts.

"S-Sorry," She weakly replies before the blonde turns around, vehemently.

"Naomi?" Emily timidly asks. The girl stops her movement and carefully turns around.

"Who the fuck are you?" Naomi asks, bewildered by the outburst of the dark-red haired girl.

"Y-You don't remember, do - Nevermind, sorry." Emily quickly turns around and starts jogging back to her pace before she bumped into Naomi. _Nice one, you tit_, she thinks. She shakes her head and pushes herself to run harder and faster.

x

Naomi is rooted to the ground, stupefied. The left side of her body still stings from the impact of the petite girl. The petite girl who seemed to make her shiver beneath her skin by the intense stare. The petite girl who knew her name. She couldn't help but think about her brown eyes and how familiar they almost looked.

She shakes her head and sighs. As she starts walking towards her flat, she wonders why she hadn't rip her head off for not watching where she was going. Naomi reaches closer to her destination and looks up to see the dark clouds rolling in. She quickly goes up the flights of stairs before the rain erupts.

As she opens the door to her flat, she spots her best friend. One of her only friends: Effy.

"We're going out," Effy says, not breaking her eye contact from the ceiling after hearing Naomi come in. She's sat on the couch, twirling a lit fag between her fingers. She exhales a breath of smoke. She has make-up smeared along her eyes, as well, along with messy hair. Naomi can't imagine what she looks like, herself.

"Pardon? We went out last night. Think we've partied enough, Eff." Naomi replies, dropping to the seat next to her friend.

"Never stopped us before, Nai," She smirks as Naomi plucks the fag from her hand and inhales deeply.

"Where'd you head off to last night?" She asks as she exhales, looking expectantly at Effy.

Effy only replies with a half shrug. She looks to the wall opposite them, distantly. There's silence between the two, but never the awkward silence. She never really speaks much, but only when something needs to be said. Sometimes Naomi's grateful for that. Effy looks at her with piercing azure eyes that could see and tell almost everything.

"We've got to stop this, Effs," She says quietly, dropping her head to fiddle with her fingers on top of her lap. She isn't sure whether she meant to say it out loud, or to herself only, but Effy understands. She always does.

"Come on. Let's get ready."

x

Emily gets out of the shower, feeling slightly better. She lays on her bed, still wrapped in a towel. She sighs and closes her eyes. The sound of rain echoes through her empty room as the rain drops quickly descends on top of the roof. The thunder shaking the house is the only indication to Emily that she could feel something besides numb.

Nights like this makes it worse for her. When it rains, it pours. The only thing playing through her mind is the incident with Naomi; it's stuck on repeat. Seeing her was like properly breathing for the first time after being trapped underwater for so long: having her lungs crushed smaller and smaller as she descends further into darkness, gasping for air, but only breathing water. So she chokes. Her throat burning as she tries to cough. She can hear her heart beating louder inside her head as her vision slowly dissipates into blackness. Seeing Naomi was resurfacing from the rough pulls of the ocean and harshly gulping her first intake of oxygen.

Emily opens her eyes and stares out at the window, the rain attacking her window. She's tries to forget about her. She has done so for the past few weeks, but she finds herself relapsing. She tries to forget her beautiful peroxide-blonde hair, her pale, silver-like eyes, and the curve of her body. There's a pain in her chest as she thinks about her. _I can't believe she doesn't even remember me_, Emily thinks. She inhales sharply, trying to hold the tears in, feeling her body shake a bit from the force.

The vibrating of her phone on the nightstand breaks her reverie. She almost chooses to ignore it, but picks up her phone, anyway. The bright light of her phone almost blinds her as she unlocks her phone and reads the text message.

_Party tonight at mine. Bring Jay. Be there. - Freds x_

Emily rubs her face and slowly gets off of her bed. Her feet swings next to the bed as she contemplates whether or not to go. She could either try to find sleep she'll never get b drowning in her own thoughts, or get shitfaced and forget about everything for just one night.

Don't think, makes life easier.

_Fuck it_, she thinks.


End file.
